Single White Waitress by Juli King Royea

SINGLE WHITE WAITRESS

Juli King Royea

Synopsis

Pink leg-warmers, black dance skirt, “Cats Forever” T-shirt, purple beret with a tragedy-comedy pin- this is the daily wardrobe of EPONINE JONES, twenties, theater geek. Eponine struts her way to work at Baklava on Broadway where she works as a singing waitress. Eponine is despised by the popular crowd at work and has a heart-stopping crush on GREG MORRIS, the male star of the small cabaret. Eponine wears elaborate costumes for each of her numbers and fantasizes about Greg falling in love with her each time he sings.

Finishing one of her numbers with a flourish and to a smattering of applause, Eponine scans her section and is dismayed to find a table for eight that is still empty. Eponine finds out from her hostess that the offending party’s name is SAMPSON, and that they are staying at The Little River Inn. Eponine then goes out to a pay phone and calls the Sampsons at their hotel. She leaves them a message inquiring as to why they did not come to Baklava on Broadway or call to cancel their reservation. Eponine then tricks the concierge of their hotel into telling her where they are dining that evening instead. Eponine calls the Sampson party at the restaurant where they are dining, and makes them promise to come to Baklava the very next evening.

Back in her apartment that night, Eponine lays down an offering of baklava at the bizarre shrine she has built to musical theater great, Betty Buckley, and begs for guidance in her quest to teach the Sampsons a lesson. Eponine continues to maniacally stalk her party of eight until she finally hunts them down in their hotel and drags them to Baklava, where she triumphantly dons her creepy “Annie” costume and prepares to sing and serve for the horrified Sampson’s, who shiver in their “I Brake for Broadway” T-shirts.

Hell hath no fury like that of a scorned singing waitress.